Paradigms...where shift happens!

Zooming past the commercials...

......with the fast forward button on your TIVO or whatever means you use to time shift your boob tube favorites may make you miss some curious moments. My current favorite is the sleep aid with the pistachio colored butterfly or whatever that bug is. First of all I don't get the image...why is a fluttering bug supposed to make me want to buy this product? It's a moth or something isn't it? Moths eat sweaters and scarves and coats...where's the connection between garments with holes and sleep?

But the best part is the ever-present warnings about side effects...they may include drowsiness! Holy Sleep Mask, Batman! Excuse me but isn't that the idea behind a sleep aid?

And before I forget, on the subject of Super Bowl commercials, what about that Snickers ad with two guys doing a team chew on one candy bar! Gay rights groups are up in arms about it almost like the National Restaurant Association's indignation about this year's installment in the Nationwide Insurance freak parade with Fed-Ex slinging fries for a Happy Meal. Just picture the reaction if there had been a trio of mechanics lip-locking a Three Musketeers. Talk about a "Mr. Goodwrench" moment; we might have witnessed protests from advocacy groups we never even knew existed.

There's a Cox in the hen house...

Stupid title, I know but I did that because it rhymes with fox, as in varmint, as in some varmint has sneaked into the hen house. Our local cable kluge, Cox Communications has pulled a fast one here. In an apparent effort to coerce those of us who haven't changed to digital cable service to do so, they have moved the TV Guide channel up into the digital tier and if you want to get it you must upgrade to digital service.

They have kindly offered to give me a printed cable guide for three months after which time I can pay them a paltry $4.00 a month to continue it. My other choice is to go ahead and change to digital which after the six month introductory come-on would cost me about $35 per month more. Are they nuts or do they think Iam? If this is such a great mode, this digital, why didn't they move QVC and HSN and Fox News and Pat Robertson and crap like that?

I have called them and I have e-mailed them to let them know what shoddy customer service I think this is but I'm not finished with them by any means. Next week e-mails are going out to about 500 people in my e-mail address book urging them to complain to both the City Council and the local cable commission.

In truth, I suppose,  it's really more insult than injury and there is probably no chance that they will feel enough public pressure to reverse this stupid move but hell, I never met a windmill yet that didn't deserve a good tilt.

That's my windmill and I'm stickin' to it

Nothing to do with relationships but...

let me put my personal cards on the table, Martha Stewart-wise: I’ve never much cared for her TV cooking program or her near manic addiction to style and detail. On the other hand, if Martha Stewart had been Muriel Frobisher she would have gotten a “not guilty” verdict at best and 15 minutes of community service at the worst. So I guess that means I’m “Martha neutral.” That being said, the question pops into mind, why did the powers that be decide that she should do her 150 odd days in the pokey in West Virginia? Oh sure the slammer in her home state may be a little crowded but is that any reason to send America’s Style Czarina to the hinterlands of West “By God” Virginia? The facility is nicknamed Camp Cupcake for crying out loud. CNN has pictures of a sample cell there. They looked fairly tidy but might need a doily or two…. Send her where she’s needed! Also noticed that her company’s stock dropped by one percent when the Alderson, West Virginia prison was announced, implying that 1% of her company’s value depends on WHERE she’s going to jail. Furrowed brow of puzzlement at my keyboard… Also on the radar now is the prospect of a Martha Stewart reality show after she gets out. And I thought “Miami Slice” was over the edge. If that's not enough, think of the potential for the Learning Channel shows..."Trading Cells", "While You Were Incarcerated"...boggles the mind does it not? The other news story of note today is that the President changed his plans and has left for Florida a day early for the debate. The story from the spin factory is that he wants to observe the hurricane damage again. I’m not sure I’m buying that; more likely he’s not sure he can count on the Florida Supreme Court to cover his “six” again in 2004. If I sound cynical, wonder why… That's my story and I'm stickin' to it...