Paradigms...where shift happens!

Tina Fey to leave SNLto challenge Sarah Palin?

Imaginary press release: OK, so it's a cynic's pipe dream for script material.  Highly placed rumor mongers  at NBC tell us that Tina Fey will forgo her SNL claim as the heiress apparent to Dana Carvey as the show's premier impersonator to run for governor of Alaska. She figures on doing a couple of weeks as the mayor of a small  town to head off any claims that she lacks experience and then she will hit the campaign trail taking up Kinky Friedman's war cry from his run for governor in Texas, "How hard can it be?" Her supporters have already announced a series of nationwide auditions for a Joe Biden look alike so she'll have somone to debate. Odds makers say she'll select Sig Hansen of "Deadliest Catch" fame because he looks so gosh darn cute behind the wheel of that crab boat dontcha know!

Remember folks, even though I totally made it up, you heard it here first!

Sarah Palin

 

Sarah Palin

 

 

 

What must the Republicans think of the average American voter? They must think we are either ignorant or stupid (there’s a difference in my mind) to have nominated a person like Sarah Palin for the vice presidency. I’m sure she is a very nice mom and a good shot from an airplane. But to be next in line for the Oval Office if Senator McCain dies or cannot serve out his term for some reason? They might as well have just come right out and said that they think we are all idiots who are dumb enough to buy into this blatant pandering. You have to wonder too, I think, what the Senator’s decision making process is like.  If his staff and advisers did not foresee the uproar over this selection perhaps it’s they who are stupid. How many of them would end up with appointments to responsible positions in a McCain administration where their lack of vision would be affecting our lives.

The Democrats must not allow themselves to be sucked into political verbal shooting gallery where all sights are trained on the Governor of Alaska who may well have been selected only because she, because, because? Because of what?

Her expertise in foreign policy because she can see Russia from her patio or front porch or whatever?

Her state borders Canada?

Her familiarity with defense issues based on her experience commanding the 4,000 member Alaska National Guard in the suppressing the great seal rebellion?

Any reference to lipstick is chancy but they just don’t make enough lipstick to spruce up the Caribou Barbie. 

Guns in national parks.

I received one of those action memos today informing me that the Secretary of The Interior is considering a rule change that would allow those with permits to carry a concealed weapon to carry  loaded and concealed weapons in the national parks. What do you think? Would you carry one if you had a permit? Will you feel safer in a park knowing that people around you might be carrying a weapon?

First Snow!

It's here, our first snowfall for the winter of 2007-2008 started a couple of hours ago. Judging by the traffic reports from the Northern Virginia/Washington DC area this is the first time some of these drivers have seen snow!

I haven't looked at the TV yet today. I know I'm not missing anything there except the young and pert assignment reporters delivering breathless video cutaways every 10 minutes as their camera crews focus on the same sign post or bush as in the last cutaway to impress us with the accumulation which as best I can see right now is close to zero. But I know the reporters are out there just in case this becomes a real event and not an imagined one.

Bottom line is if you read about anything at all happening in my area of the republic as a result of this snowfall you can rest easy that it was the ultimate slow news day around these parts.

Border security

Many of you may have missed this little news gem from upstate New York. There was a fire Sunday night at the Anchorage Restaurant in Rouses Point, New York. Rouses Point is about 1.5 miles south of the Canadian border. Many of the fire departments along the Canadian border have mutual aid agreements with their Canadian counterparts and have had them for years. When the units that responded to this fire from Rouses Point radioed for a mutual aid fire company they fully expected the relief manpower and additional equipment to arrive within the usual time frame. They did not count on the reported eight to 15 minute delay at the border while American customs officials checked them for passports of all things. The responding firefighters had their ID cards but were told that they were not good enough since they didn't show dates of birth or an expiration date.

"I've been crossing this border for 30 years, and the only question we were ever asked was: Where's the fire?'" Lacolle Fire Chief Jean-Pierre Hebert told the Toronto Globe and Mail this week. (From The Plattsburgh Press Republican 11/16/07 See the entire text of the article cited below. )

What is it about a firetruck with red lights and siren that is so difficult to understand? It would appear that the Feds training regimen does not include a unit on using common sense. The restaurant was reportedly a total loss.

MONTREAL (CP) -- The Lacolle, Quebec, fire chief is concerned about cross-border Mutual Aid efforts after six of his volunteer firefighters were delayed at U.S. Customs this week.

The fire crews were on their way to help with a Rouses Point fire at the Anchorage restaurant, which was destroyed by fire overnight Sunday.

In the past, officers at the Rouses Point crossing have waved the Canadian fire trucks through.

This time, a customs official delayed them by between eight and 15 minutes, according to differing accounts.

The firefighters were rushing to Rouses Point as part of the long-standing Clinton County Mutual Aid agreement.

"I've been crossing this border for 30 years, and the only question we were ever asked was: Where's the fire?'" Lacolle Fire Chief Jean-Pierre Hebert told the Toronto Globe and Mail this week.

"This time, we got someone zealous. He told us we'd need our passports next time."

Tightly bound border communities have bailed out one another in emergencies for decades, with first-responders crisscrossing the boundary hundreds of times with minimal scrutiny.

Now fire officials wonder whether increased border security cost the firefighters precious minutes. Hebert said fires double in intensity about every minute.

The six Quebecers showed their firefighter photo ID, but were told it wasn't good enough because it didn't have a date of birth or expiration date, Hebert said.

"It's gotten harder since 9/11. We don't blame the United States -- they say they've got to protect their borders -- but we were going over there to help.

"When you're answering a call at midnight, all you think about is putting on your pants. You don't think about taking your wallet."

See also the related story on CNN: Rouses Point Restaurant Fire

Barry Bonds

I have read a bunch of editorials and sports commentary about Barry Bonds claiming Hank Aaron's home run record. The aim of subjecting myself to all that redundant sports punditry was, I suppose, to find some rationale for being excited about his "achievement". It's just not there for me though. I love baseball even though it is slow and many will say it's boring. If all you are looking for is action like those little slivers of energy you see on the football field between the snap of the ball and the ref's whistle I suppose it can be called boring. Maybe it's as boring to you as soccer is to me.

I grew up playing baseball, sometimes fairly well for my age and sometimes not so well as illustrated by my high school sports career where I spent a lot of time on the bench because I was a terrible hitter. There is a precision and grace to a baseball diamond filled with players at their positions. There is  a mental dimension to the spectacle of a well played game regardless of who wins. It speaks of summer, it speaks of kids imagining themselves to be the next baseball legend. It is a feeling as much as anything I think and perhaps that is why so many people seem so ambivalent about it as "America's National Pastime".

How many of the kids who watch the game and play it will aspire to become the next
"Barry Bonds"? Not many I think. It's true that allegations about Bonds using performance enhancing drugs remain unproven and it's also true that at the time that he allegedly used them, there were no rules in baseball against them. The baseball fans like me though will always place a mental asterisk by Bonds' record and that's truly a shame for such an achievement, a shame but an appropriate reaction nevertheless because if he did use them the record should be erased. Even if he did not, the blemish is the same and that asterisk will still be there. 

I remember the night I saw Cal Ripken break Lou Gehrig's consecutive game record. That night I felt elated to have witnessed such a milestone, even on TV. I knew I would feel that way but I am still reading, trying to find some reason to care about this new record. 

Virginia Tech Shootings

Thirty-two are dead so far at Virginia Tech after today's shooting rampage by an as yet unidentified gunman. Kids, just kids, who were there to try and get an education. So far there is no breakdown between students and faculty deaths. This is being reported as the largest mass shooting incident ever in this country. If you do a Google search on "school shootings" you will find a time line of school shooting incidents since 1996. I ran the numbers and there have been 67 killed and 111 wounded since February, 1996. That doesn't count today's toll in Blacksburg.

The TV talking heads are already taking the aftermath reporting into the realm of the question of gun control and and going after the Virginia Tech officials about what they did or did not do. It's a natural enough part of the reporting I suppose but it seems a lot like hair trigger head hunting to me to be doing it so quickly while the authorities are still trying to sort out what happened. I wonder how many lawyers are out there training their cross hairs  on the Commonwealth of Virginia. 

Not 5 minutes but a microslice of time

Yesterday evening on The Theodore Roosevelt Bridge near Washington DC.
Headed outbound towards the Virginia side of the Potomac River.
I had missed the turn for the Kennedy Center where we had tickets for the 7:30 PM performance of Romeo & Juliet by the Kirov Ballet and we were stuck going across the bridge, looking for a place where we could loop around and head back into the city to try again, like a missed approach while landing a plane.
It was only a moment, a slice of time with no real significance to every car on the bridge but one.
I heard a metallic sound behind my van.

For some reason I looked out my rear view mirror and saw a moment of real significance for whoever was in the SUV I saw cartwheeling in the traffic behind me. That's the first time I have ever seen a moment like that as it happened. It's frozen there in my memory...no, it wasn't in slow motion like the moviemakers would have us think. This vehicle was rolling, no spinning is more like it...spinning time after time along it's long axis and even bouncing a bit as the side of the car hit the pavement. I'm sure I could hear the sound of it, even the crunching sound of the glass as the windshield and side windows disintegrated with the impact of each contact with the roadway.

By the time we had turned and come back inbound on the bridge there were emergency vehicles everywhere. I'm so glad I wasn't behind that vehicle. We surely would have been involved in the wreck just because the spectacle would have frozen our attention on what was happening.

I can see it now as I write this and I wonder about the people in that SUV. Did anyone just walk away?

Happy New year, ya'll

It's on us yet again...that most special time of the year when we make promises to ourselves and others about turning over a new leaf for yet another year. It's also the time when those promises that are made may outnumber but will certainly not outlive the flood of campaign promises made during last year's the mid-term elections.

Wouldn't it be interesting if we could somehow compare the two? Who will be more successful, you with your promise to exercise or Congressman Blatherbutt from Possum Breath, Missouri with his promise to honestly see to the voters interests? I'm betting on you to outlast him.

That's right folks...lock up your children and your money because in a few more days a whole bunch of new kids on The Hill will be lining up at the trough to try to earmark your money to fund the construction of a teapot museum back home or to pay for the paving of the road to Lawrence Welk's boyhood home. Makes you giddy with anticipation does it not?

Oh, and by the way...sorry about that "Ya'll" business in the title...I'm a big Paula Deen fan....

Is it curling season yet?

Maybe it's just my twisted view of life but I found it more than passing strange to be standing among a bunch of Americans, while celebrating Independence Day, the day that marks our revolt against England, glued to the tube watching soccer...one hundred twenty minutes of sweat soaked anesthesia. The only way the irony could have been greater would have been if England had been playing France. (You can figure that one out on your own if you'll just assign anyone of the traditional English/French stereotypes to each country.)

I have been trying to think of an analogy for the boring part but the only things that have come to mind are speeches by Senator Lieberman or a Joe Biden interview on Meet the Press.

Now don't get me wrong, soccer has its moments. Both of my daughters played youth soccer for a couple of years and there was drama and excitement. "Will she actually kick the ball or miss it altogether?"  But this? 

And while we (OK, I) are at it, what's up with those guys who take a hit from another player, writhe on the ground in agony for a few minutes and then all of a sudden pop up and bounce back to their position? This is Oscar material folks. They would be nominated for sure if anyone could pronounce their names.

The good news is that after the championship game between Italy and France there will be four more years until another World Cup, during which time maybe the soccer guru's will do something about the stupid off sides rule and we can have some NFL size scores so as to make it  more like a real sport.

Oh, and as for the championship game...Viva Italia!!!!

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it....