And now the news from the world of sports...

On Thursday night, President Bush is scheduled to throw out the first pitch in the opening home game for the Washington Nationals baseball team. It will be the first regular season major league baseball game in Washington in 35 years. In the spirit of bi-partisanship for which he and the Republican party have become so well known, the Oval Office has extended an invitation for a Democratic Party response much like the opposition response presented after every State of The Union address and after each of the President’s weekly radio addresses. He has invited the Democrats to send a batter to the plate for the opening pitch. In the spirit of this proffered bi-partisanship DNC Chairman Howard Dean has reportedly canvassed all Democrats in both the Senate and the House of Representatives in an effort to find a volunteer for this singular occasion. Only Senator John Kerry has expressed any interest although his office said he cannot decide whether he wants to bat right handed or left handed. According to a spokesperson, the Senator is on the record as having been a right handed hitter before he was a left handed hitter. Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert says will be behind the plate for this event since he has had so much practice handling the curve balls and change ups from the Oval Office over the years. Speaker Hastert did say that he would appoint two umpires to call the pitch, one Democrat and one Republican. If they cannot agree on whether the pitch was a strike or a ball it will be declared a “no pitch” and will have to be done over until a consensus can be reached. Team officials have contingency plans to reschedule the game at a later date should an impasse occur. Finally, in recognition of the diversity of current national political leanings, the pitcher’s mound will be dyed red and home plate will be painted blue... And remember, you heard it here first, folks! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it….