Scoring very high on my...

list of things that suck, higher even than beets, is the part of my car's electical system that was designed to be connected to a car alarm, which I do not have and today decided, for reasons all its own, to begin to flash my lights and honk my horn. Next on the list is the local Chrysler dealership which cheerfully explained that they cannot take my car until tomorrow and advised me to handle the 'horny' problem (sorry, I had to go for that one) by pulling the fuse and to handle the lights by disconnecting the battery when the car is parked.

It's 30 bloody degrees outside, it's snowing and I'm barking my knuckles trying to remove a battery terminal. How do cars know things like that?