Robo-Yule

I get promotional e-mails from Linens and Things. In the last one they were promoting a 7 ½ foot pre-lit remote control artificial Christmas tree with “850 lights that change from clear to color in seconds.”

Pre-lit? Remote control?  And the scariest part? When I went to their web site to see what this 7 ½ foot bauble looked like I found that it was temporarily out of stock due to the fantastic sale price of $99.99, marked down from a paltry $299.99. P.T. Barnum was right…there is one born every minute.

I’m trying to imagine kids looking back on their childhood Christmas memories and getting all misty eyed as they talk about the annual ritual of Dad simply plugging in the tree. Talk about a Hallmark moment…ummm, maybe not so much….

Wouldn’t it be cool if the tree just snapped into shape like those easy set up camping tents? Or better yet, when Easter rolls around it works like one of those "Transformer" toys and with a few deft hand motions Dad changes it into a pre-lit 7 1/2 foot Easter bunny....

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it…

Comments

[ellie]

My son and I have an ugliest-tree tradition. Thie first year we just broght in a dead branch ala Charlie Brown and smothered it in lights. Last year we bought this fugly wire thing that looked like a dancing coathanger with vitiligo from Rite Aid. This year we're thinking of hanging thrift store kitsche on a plastic cactus. Unless of course we stumble upon a cool transformer one that changes into a pumpkin with a few snazzy clicks.

[Uncle Jack]

Piece of driftwood hung with shells, skate egg pouches, seaweed and other beach detritus does the trick here.

[Ruth]

I remember trying to untangle those freakin light strings... Lights going down the hallway among dog feet and dog bones, you commanding to be careful or the bulbs will break.....
Yeah those were the good old days!