Further on a parent's grief

 A follow up on the Sheehan Post:

 

I receive the following from an old friend who has buried a son. I asked her permission to use it and she agreed: 

"An interesting post about Cindy Sheehan.  I too am a mother who has lost a son and it is possibly the worse thing that can occur to anyone.  We are meant to die before them.  I guess what bothers me most about her approach is that she has totally overlooked her living children and her marriage. Those remaining children are experiencing a huge amount of pain--I saw this with my own kids-------and I am always a bit wary of protestors.  My viewpoint on protesting is---fine go and do it---but there isn't enough time put into solving the problem.  Am I making sense?  I hope I am. But, do I understand her pain?  Yes, most definitely.  When B was home for Thanksgiving she went through old family photos and cried----we visit those times so infrequently due to the pain that comes forth." 

 

And then after I asked her permission to use her thoughts she followed with this:

 

"I re-read what I wrote and I feel every bit of her pain-----but to totally make your life around one child is so unfair to the rest of her family.  When [my son] died----[his dad} and I made a very pointed decision to live well in his memory.  The last thing he would have wanted us to do would be to disfigure the family landscape over zealot thoughts.  I guess the same thing also goes to being a cancer survivor----I am [who I am]-----not all about my cancer or my child that died and when one faces such horrendous tragedy------I think it should be faced with faith----and an understanding that I do not live with tragedy-----but rather try to learn and go on."

 

There you have it, another mother’s thoughts.