Paradigms...where shift happens!

On Line Dating Sites

A brief reference to on-line dating/match up services was in my initial post on this blog. The first time I joined one of them a thought was ambling around in the recesses of what passes for my brain. “What kind of socially bankrupt knot head ends up here, in a ‘place’ like this?” All the while I pictured the other people on there as mumbling geeks, compulsively fingering their favorite Star Wars lapel pin trying to appear as something they were not while they typing in a clever new signature line for their e-mails like “Live long and prosper.” They would have a full ashtray on their desk, a can of Coke long since gone flat and little bunches of cat hair hidden behind the door. Time stamps on their postings would usually be between 1 and 3 in the morning. Their bookshelf would feature a dog-eared paperback compendium of possible names for pets.

Oh, my God….that’s the group I have joined?

Well, I was wrong of course. There are really lovely people out there who apparently, like me, realize the on line matching sites are a great place to meet people and get to know a little bit about them without the subliminal screening based on things like bra size or a tight butt.

Now, here’s the weird part, the question that I just couldn’t get over. Why do so few people at these e-mixers use any semblance of imagination in their profiles at all? If I had a nickel, make that a twenty dollar bill, for every time I have read that a lady likes long walks on the bloody beach and cuddling by a cozy fire I would be on some Caribbean island somewhere drinking a cold Corona and trying to decide whether to bake or grill that fresh grouper filet for dinner.

Not only the narrative but the pictures they post! I saw pictures that would have been rejected for driver’s licenses by the Motor Vehicles department in 49 of the 50 states and the territory of Guam. Is this a test? “If you can overlook the fact that this picture makes me look as if I am the subject of a Central America wanted poster then lifelong true love is on the horizon.”

Put down the rocks and bottles because I’m not talking about beauty here. I just don’t understand how someone can be so oblivious to what kind of visual first impression they make.

More on this another day, if the Spirit moves me…..I’m tired of it now.

The Sea Part I

 
Posted July 27, 2004 at 11:47:49 AM

In April,I went to the beach for the weekend. While roaming the beach early one morning I took a picture that came out remarkably well. Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in while. I printed it and then added this little piece to the picture. I can't post the picture here out of repect for the privacy of the lady in it but here is what I wrote to go with the picture. It started with the first line which is a quote of something she told me she felt when she walked to the ocean's edge for the first time in a while.

"Do you remember me?" She asked the Sea
"Of course I do, you are my child"
"How can you remember me?", She said
"There are so many of us who come to you."

"True" said the Sea. "Why do you come to me?"
"I do not know how to say it. I feel it though."
"What do you feel? asked the Sea
"Is it that you are home?"

"Maybe. When was it that you first touched me?"
"When? Don't you remember standing at my door?"
"I don't think so. Did I knock?
"You did not need to, I knew you were there"

"The spindrift across your feet was my welcome.
My gulls and terns told me of your innocence.
And shifting sand beneath you as the water flowed
Was my answer that you were my child."

And then the Sea murmured and shrugged,
Her glassy shoulders as if to sigh in gratitude
That her little one was still her child.
Innocent still, with outspread arms.

Blogs As Bartenders

Introduction 
Posted on July 23, 2004 at 02:40:05 PM
After my divorce ten years ago it had taken me a while to get to the point of being content as a single person. So much so in fact that I remember thinking that I wasn’t really convinced I needed to meet anyone and that I could live the balance of my life as a single person. I do recall rationalizing to myself that if the right person came along…nothing is etched in stone.

This is my, no doubt overly emotional account, of my thoughts during the last month or so and my ongoing thoughts as they occur. If it is self indulgent, so be it. I have to put it somewhere, tell it to someone, get it off my mind lest it crush me.

I don’t really know if anyone besides me will ever see this blog. Most likely they won’t but even if I am willing to put my feelings and fears out there, I cannot make that decision for anyone else so I’ll scrub any detail that might compromise privacy.

It should not matter if my words are published; it should be enough, it seems, to write them down. But it does matter. Maybe it’s like the guy drowning his sorrows at the bar, bonding with the bartender.

I warn you ahead of time, it is sentimental and if a critic were to read it they might well tag the word “slop” on. Read at your own risk but while you are doing that, if you begin to feel as if this is so much silliness, try to imagine the sort of feelings that are so piquant, so real that even if they are feelings of sadness or loss you are still grateful for them because they tell you that you are alive. Remembering especially the peaks that are the product of my awareness and that infuse my soul with hope such that I know that no matter what happens in the future I will still say, “It was all good!”